IT’S been four years since Gawler’s Sam Harding lost her son, Dillon, to suicide and time fails to heal all wounds.

While the pain felt in 2016 is just as strong, Sam says the recent birth of her first grandson has filled a family void through “pure joy and happiness”.

Dillon was the eldest of four children – Lucas, Aaron and Chloe – and, nearing his 20th birthday, took his life on Thursday, May 19 following a silent battle with depression.

However, the birth of Wyatt Dillon Harding, son of Aaron and Amie, just over eight weeks ago has been a shining light for the new grandma.

“He has just been a whole joy for all of us,” Sam said.

“Even Aaron said he has filled a big hole that was left and when he and Amie asked if they could use Dillon’s name, we were all thrilled with that.

“He is so gorgeous and filled a big void, even for Lucas and Chloe as well, as they are besotted with their little nephew, which is lovely.”

Sam described Dillon as a happy-go-lucky individual and the “life of the party”.

“He would light up a room, and had an infectious smile,” she said.

“He excelled at school at Gawler & Districts College and worked for a number of local businesses including Lyndoch Hill, Café Nova, Hungry Jacks and Blockbuster.

“Dillon played footy for Gawler Centrals and started out in the juniors there.

“He loved his footy and every year there has been a suicide awareness round, except for this year due to COVID.

“He had only just told me about his engagement to his partner, Chantelle, before he passed.

“She has since moved up to Queensland, married and had a daughter.”

Since Dillon’s passing, Sam has made it her mission to raise awareness of suicide and depression through the Gawler Suicide Prevention Group.

At the time, she said she had “no idea” her son was struggling.

“We didn’t know. It was a good 18 months after when we got his phone back and a letter to myself and the family that said he was struggling with deep depression, and that he just didn’t want to burden anybody, that we found out,” Sam said.

“To look at him you would never have known.

“I had parents of his friends come up to me and say ‘when so-and-so was feeling down they would call Dill and he would be the one to go there no matter what time of the night to comfort them’.

“That is what makes it more heartbreaking, he couldn’t do it for himself.

“Looking back there were times I thought he was a little bit moody, but I didn’t realise to what extent and it came as an absolute shock.”

Sam’s experience has led her to talk openly about suicide and to check-in on her loved ones regularly.

“Before my family was close, but this has brought us closer together and I am always checking in on them about their mental health and wellbeing and making sure they are okay,” she said.

“My message to everybody else is just to talk with people and to ask the hard questions.

“If you think someone isn’t quite okay, ask the question ‘Are you thinking about doing something or ending things?’

“You’ve got to keep going with your questioning, because most people will say they are fine.

“It’s also so important to talk generally about suicide and it is good to see now in the media there is a lot more talk about it and people use the word suicide now whereas previously it was taboo.

“People were under the assumption that if you talk about suicide somebody is going to go and do it and that’s not the case.”

Many of Dillon’s close friends still keep in touch with the Harding family and each year get together on the anniversary of his death.

Sam said she hoped her loss would encourage others to be more wary of their loved ones’ mental health.

“I get out there to talk about my experience in the hope it could save another family from going through this,” she said.

“It’s still as hard four years later. I don’t think it gets any easier.

“I think of all the milestones Dillon is missing out on and now his nephew is here in the world.

“But Dillon is going to live on inside of Wyatt.

“We know he will be looking out for him.”

If you or anyone you know is going through difficulties call Lifeline on 13 11 14.