To lose a child is an unimaginable loss and something difficult to speak about. Bunyip editor Sara Gilligan recently met with local couple Daniel and Kelly Down to talk about their daughter Daisy who was born forever sleeping, and discuss the services available throughout their journey. This article may contain triggering and/or sensitive material…

FROM devastating heartache to incredible love and assistance, Daniel and Kelly Down feel thankful for the people and services that have helped them through the loss of their first child.

On Thursday, October 1 at 16.23 hours Daisy Joyce Down was born at 19 weeks, weighing 220 grams, at the Women’s and Children’s Hospital.

While healthy throughout the pregnancy, Daisy experienced a preterm premature rupture of membranes and was delivered too soon.

To coincide with this week’s Perinatal Mental Health Week, the Evanston Gardens couple hope their story may help others going through a similar experience, which is unfortunately more common than they first realised.

“We want people to know that it is okay to talk about your loss and that if you need help leading up, during or afterwards it is certainly available,” Daniel said.

“We felt supported from the start when Kelly was admitted to Gawler hospital and the staff were so amazing and professional.

“Similarly, the staff at the Women’s and Children’s were professional, caring, understanding and honest – we couldn’t fault them.

“The hospital offers you so much for free and we have been blown away.

“Locally we’ve been receiving flowers almost every second day from Gawler Flower Gallery and Barossa Vintage Florists and Taylor & Forgie Funeral Directors have been outstanding.”

Kelly said her and Daniel have received several keepsakes, including a ‘bear of hope’, USB full of photographs, plaster casts of Daisy’s hands and feet, the last Doppler reading, a wooden memento box and more.

“The Women’s and Children’s Hospital also set up a naming ceremony because Daisy was under 20 weeks and too young to have her name registered,” she said.

“They gave us a certificate and the day after we went down to Semaphore beach and sat together in the sand.”

Following a social media post about Daisy on a public forum, Daniel and Kelly say the community response has also been “overwhelming”.

“A lot of people have their own stories from their own experiences and we didn’t realise how common it is,” Daniel said.

“Going to our usuals, like Gawler cafes, people have displayed a lot of compassion.”

Kelly said daisies were popping up all over the place.

“Outside my hospital room in the peace garden were three daisies,” she said.

“Then, the photographer who came to photograph us from Heartfelt was called Daisy as well.

“We’ve also had people dropping off daisy plants on our front doorstep, which has been lovely.”

Daniel said Daisy was named after his dad’s Aunty Daisy who used to breed Samoyeds.

Last Wednesday, as a surprise for Kelly, he commissioned sand artist Sue Norman to create a large scale ‘sandala’, incorporating daisies, at Brighton beach.

“It offered closure and felt like the end of that chapter,” Daniel said.

“We have almost completed our counselling and doctors appointments, so this felt like a beautiful way to end before we move on.

“We’ve decided we want to celebrate on October 1 and have come up with some plans like planting a daisy – it certainly won’t be a miserable day at all.

“If anything this journey has made our relationship stronger and brought us closer.

“We love you Daisy Joyce. Forever beautiful, forever in our hearts.”